Being Woman

Few weeks back we had a corporate training for selected middle level women managers. The trainer, a lady with about 20 years of work experience told us some life changing thoughts. She asked us to get a pen and paper and write down, “What are your roles as mother, wife, sister and daughter?” The next thing she said was to “List down what are your roles and responsibilities at office?” The first question had an exhaustive answer and everyone kept putting down loads of points when it came to relationships. Also we realised that our domestic roles are not well defined and society has lot of expectations from a woman in these areas. We found that office role was very clearly outlined and we understood exactly what to do there. So, the next thing the instructor said was, “Start defining your domestic roles as well and don't let people tell you what you need to do as a mother or wife”. We cannot always have a "perfect" balance and we need to let go certain things without feeling guilty. It is good to have a domestic help and its okay if you can't cook ten awesome dishes after work.

The next very valid point which she made was about, “The area of Influence”. There are certain things we mostly feel are not in our control but they actually are. For example if there is a loud celebration in your apartment and you have that certification to do for a promotion or your kid got exam take that extra step to convince that noisy neighbour assertively. She asked us to move out of our comfort zone and go that extra mile. Sounds very much relevant and what I enjoyed the most in the session was the video showing Sheryl Sandberg's talk, "Lean in". I have also read her book and these three points actually make an impact.

1. “Sit at the table”

      Don't hesitate to be at the center of meeting and raise your hand.

2. “Don't leave before you leave”

      Don't let your future “personal” plans affect your present “career”. 
      May be it's too early to hold yourself back.

3. “Make your Partner, the real partner”

      Make it work together, share the load with your partner J

She then asked us to write what we wanted to achieve in next 10 years. After I read what I wrote I realised that I had my ambitions which I kept hidden for a long time. I wanted to prove myself and take up important roles but wasn't ready to discuss about it with my seniors or even asked for a mentor. I, like every other woman in the room was scared of getting the labels like “bossy” and “selfish”. And I realised instead of wasting my time thinking about others I could actually focus on improving myself and work towards achieving my goals. The session was definitely something to remember and something to implement both in my personal and professional life. I think all women should give it a thought and live a life which they have always dreamt of having. 

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