Hidden

She sits there with a half-smile,

Listening to him or pretending to listen.

Wonder what she is trying to conceal.

Would that smile fade away from there,

Or bloom into a wider curve.

I could never say, and I will never guess.

Her eyes looking at him,

While not looking at all.

Wonder what that stare hides,

Will it rise to pray or look down upon rejection?

I would never attempt to comprehend.

I see no anger in them, nor any trace of sadness.

The moment has paused there,

And I don’t know if its love,

Or a striving desire to belie.

She looks neither old, nor young.

The charm lingers every now and then,

Before deserting and pervading the face again.

She speaks, and I can’t hear what it is,

Because life goes on, the world doesn’t pause ever.

The restaurant is buzzing with people, walking past us,

And each table has a story to tell.

Stories that eyes tell eyes.

Stories that can be read on faces.

Stories that make you ponder.

Stories that create memories to retain.

Stories that kill the passing time.

And stories that remind me of you,

While I sit here alone.

Because you never came,

And I know, you never will.

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It goes on

"In three words I can sum up everything I have learned about life: it goes on"

Robert Frost

People come into our life, stay and then move on, things happen, things change, things that existed no longer do and amidst all this, life just goes on. I have always revered my grandfather and he was a great inspiration. However he never liked gifts so when I got my first salary in 2007 I could not quite reckon what to gift him. Not that I had to gift him but I wanted to. Then I thought of his library where he has collection of books starting from encyclopedias,  to books on science and mathematics, also novels because being a Professor of Physics he also liked literature. So, I gifted him the third book of Stephen Hawkins, 'Black Hole and Baby Universes' because he had the first two. However for a long time I was not quite sure if he read it, until his death in 2013 when his desk and bookshelf was being cleaned. I found he had read till the last page of the book because he had underlined some sentences till the end, that he probably thought was important. I then moved to the first page where years back I had written, 

'Dear Aja (Grandpa), 

I owe you a lot, 

Yours lovingly,
 Miki'

It doesn't feel like he will never be around again and it was difficult to accept his sudden death, I spent my entire childhood in my grandparents' house after all. But his death taught me how to face death and how to go on with life, just like Robert Frost says, 'it goes on'. 

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Alone

"Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone."

Maya Angelou

Can anybody be all alone and survive alone? I think what Maya Angelou wanted to say was that everybody needs the human touch. It may not be a spouse but your parents, may not be children to take care of you but may be a friend to lend a shoulder, or may be your cousins or siblings who were your partner in crime. Life is so difficult to be lived without having some one to talk to, they may not even be physically present but even an internet chat would be enough. I have one such school buddy and we keep exchanging the quotes that we read over whatsapp. A healthy discussion follows afterwards, it feels really good to have someone of the same mental wavelength or the way she says we are soul sisters. Strange that our souls connect even if we are miles apart. She lives in Singapore by the way, but our conversation is more real than anything else. Then there is another friend whom I meet mostly in the weekends or week days if we find time to sneak out of office and pouring out my heart to her feels oh so relaxing! Office colleagues with whom I go for lunch are a true inspiration for my work. When we discuss our bosses, a meeting that over shoot its duration or a presentation that didn't go too well it feels so easy to relate to each other's life and half of the grief is resolved. I think no matter how difficult it is life will go on. A little human touch will make it easier though, that's why Maya Angelou says, "nobody can make it out here alone". 

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Write

When a memory wants to speak to you, write
When a dream wants to be unveiled, write
When your childhood wants to be relived, write
When adulthood takes its toll, find sometime to write
When the fear in you wants to explode, write
When the anger suppressed refuses to dwindle, write
When the love inside you mumbles, write
When hatred spreads its venom, write
When everything with in and around you finds words, write, just write ...

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